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Were Nick & Jessica Latest Victims of 'The Tabloid Template'? |
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Written by D.L. McCracken
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Thursday, 24 November 2005 |
 Just when we're all finally getting used to the break-up of Brad and Jen, we're suddenly hit square in the gut with another one when it was revealed earlier today that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey have come to a parting of the ways, marriage-wise. Not that we didn't suspect this was going to happen because afterall, those Pulitzer Prize-winning tabloids have been crowing about it for months now.
Lachey a former member of the popular boy band, 98 Degrees and Simpson who found herself competing at the time for top pop princess status against other young pop stars like Britney Spears, married in a fairytale church ceremony in 2002. It wasn't however until the newly married couple signed a deal with MTV to star in a reality show chronicling their first year of married life that they became household names.
Aptly titled "Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica", cameras followed the couple through their daily lives and in the process their growing audience became captivated with Ms. Simpson every time she opened her mouth and uttered something so outrageous that it became part of her charm. One of her more memorable TV moments involved her puzzled ponderings on the contents of a can of tuna from Chicken of The Sea when she asked her husband if she was eating tuna or chicken. She later said, "Normally I don't like fish, but it tastes so much like chicken." I won't even venture near the buffalo wing episode..
Rumours of the impending break-up of the MTV darlings began to circulate around the same time Ms. Simpson was on location shooting her movie debut as Daisy Duke in last summer's release of The Dukes of Hazard. Up until today, the couple have vehemently denied that they were separating.
Of course in Hollywood, such a denial is rich fodder for the endless 'speculation' of the tabloid magazines and newspapers who it seems, will do just about anything to begin a rumour and then see it through. Truth doesn't really enter the equation because what is truth worth these days? Not a heck of a lot when rumour and inuendo is so darn lucrative.
Remember Brad and Jen? The same tabloids that at least in part, perpetrated this latest break-up were Exhibit One in that one as well and used what seems to be a template reserved for the 'married celebrity couples who would sell lots of magazines if they broke up" section. Take any one of the Brad & Jen articles and substitute Nick & Jessica and with the exception of a few minor details, they're identical. The articles start off with a hint, a suggestion if you will - married lady is appearing in public sans wedding band. That seems to be the hook for certain readers - uh oh, trouble in paradise.
After the missing wedding ring has made the rounds of every rag on the globe including several TV tabloids, the line is cast - married gentleman is being seem in some rather culpable positions with someone other than his beautiful wife and sometimes the "other woman" is a famous Hollywood type herself. By this time the readers are lapping it up and in turn the tabloids are hawling it in at 4 bucks a pop.
After the seeds of doubt have been planted firmly in enquiring minds everywhere, it's just a matter of time before the tabloids circle in for the sinker or the kill, if you will. They can actually sit back and take a breather for the time being. They work hard at their job, printing all that speculation. Now it's just a matter of throwing out a picture of married lady crying into her cellphone or married gentleman strolling on a beach arm-in-arm with Mystery Lady and their work is almost done.
The tabloid's latest celebrity targets have no doubt read a few of these break-up templates and I don't care how famous you are, if you see your spouse displayed in a tabloid swapping spit with an unidentified-bleached-blonde, you're gonna wonder. Especially in Hollywood where unidentified-bleached-blondes are a dime a dozen and in both genders. After six to eight months of a constant barrage of tabloid speculation, it's going to take one very serious soulmate sort of relationship to actually survive.
Now I'm not saying that this is how it went down with the Lacheys. Maybe they did have differences that could not be resolved but know what? It's none of our damn business if they did.
But if the tabloids had even a small part in this couple and so many couples before them, breaking up and dissolving their marriages, it should be our business. I certainly can't prove it one way or the other but there is one measure we can all take, just on the slight chance that I might be onto something here - one small way we might just save the next marriage - stop buying the tabloid rags. If we stop buying them, they will eventually stop printing them. With all the malice in this world already why are we paying extra for others to invent even more?
And finally to Ms. Simpson and Mr. Lachey, I am truly sorry that you have decided to go your separate ways. May you both find happiness and contentment.
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