For those of you too tired from shovelling the white stuff off your driveway and onto your neighbour’s sidewalk to keep up with the latest development in the world of free speech vs. religious sensitivities, here is a quick summary.

Danish author wants to write a book about Islam for children, but can’t find anyone to draw Mohammed. Everyone appears to run scared . He turns to leading Danish newspaper (circulation 15) who tries to enlist 40 Danish political cartoonist (a number which seems to indicate that every second person in Denmark draws for a living) to come up with the goods.

Most take a pass, fearing the wrath of  Muslims everywhere, since it is verboten to reproduce the Prophet’s likeness. Twelve, however,  take up the challenge and submit their work, which is subsequently printed somewhere in the back pages.  

At first, nothing much happens. It is only after a local Imam accidentally discovers the offending work while unwrapping some fish, that all hell breaks loose . Furiously worded diplomatic letters start to arrive in Copenhagen, ambassadors are withdrawn by the boatload, Havarti is declared persona non grata in Saudi Arabia, and half the Middle East is occupied trying to find Danish flags to burn.  In the end, all three of them get torched.

Western media, along with Halifax live, were shocked when, today, the offending Danish newspaper printed a retraction along with an apology. Free speech, in other words, is under siege. In Europe, “Die Welt” along with “France-Soir” subsequently reprinted the entire series of cartoons in protest. Here at Halifax live, we have decided to join the fray.

There is, however, a slight snag. Unlike our European brethrens, our budget is slightly limited . Thus, it has been impossible to meet the rather steep syndication fee of $12.05 demanded by the Danes who are still smarting after we swiped one of their islands. Offers of sending Canadian Tire money were rejected, and we were, thus, forced to come up with our own drawings.  As luck would have it, Burger King would not give our cartoonist the night off, so I asked our canteen’s cook Doris  to have a go at it.

Doris agreed, but wanted to stress to our readers that her cartoons, although depicting the Prophet Mohammed, are in no way meant to offend anyone. Instead, she feels that free speech is a corner stone of any democratic state, unless, of course, it is directed at her Chilli (served Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays). She would also like to point out to any Jihadists who happen to pass by, that this whole thing was not her idea, and that she only did it because she was promised a new wooden spoon by management.

What follows, then, are a few of Doris’ best efforts. With these, we join our colleagues in Europe in a stand for the freedom of the press. Let history record, that we Nova Scotians are not frightened by the Jihadists and their bombs. Let history also show, that I am taking a vacation for the next few months. Don’t bother looking for me in Denmark: I heard it’s getting to be a dangerous place to live .

Frank Streicher is available to be bombed all week long, except for Sunday morning when Liverpool will be playing Chelsea. Mind you, on Friday he will likely be bombed at the Midtown on his own volition.  Alternatively you can send your explosive charge via email to This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it .