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Best Wishes To A Disgruntled Upper Canadian |
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Written by Staff
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Sunday, 05 February 2006 |
Last week the Halifax Daily News published a letter from one Lloyd Grandmaison from Kingsville, Ontario. Mr Grandmaison was obviously quite concerned for our welfare down here after reports that the Maritimes were being "pounded" with a blizzard.
On behalf of several of our fellow Nova Scotians we would like to send best wishes back to Mr. Grandmaison and let him know that we made it through the storm intact and with no major pulled muscles from all that "happy shovelling" he wished upon us. As a matter of fact, that balmy, sunny 10C weather being enjoyed by Mr. Grandmaison in southern Ontario did arrive here in the Maritimes a couple of days after our blizzard but we didn't actually see our thermometers reach 10C. It was closer to 15. Some of us here in the newsroom thought fondly of Mr. Grandmaison while we were out and about in our shirtsleeves happily shovelling the last of the slush, and we decided that it would be rude not to return his sincere wishes.
Mr. Grandmaison, obviously the epitome of the reason that some misguided souls "down east" refer to his lovely province as "uppity Canada" included in his letter a belief that some sort of diety was paying us back (in the form of a snowstorm, no less) down east for voting Liberal in the federal election and even more curious, for voting in favour of same-sex marriage.
Imagine our confusion upon reading the dear man's missive! On the one hand, he is displaying genuine concern for our welfare but on the other hand he is under the erroneous assumption that the entire same-sex marriage issue somehow has its roots in Nova Scotia. Well...and we have to chuckle here a bit...it was actually the good province of Ontario that got the gay marriage ball rolling, so to speak. While Mr. Grandmaison believes that we down east are being punished by a seemingly spiteful god for same-sex marriage there is a rather sizeable school of thought that we Canadians are being rewarded by a more loving kind of god for embracing tolerance and acceptance.
As far as Mr. Grandmaison's again erroneous assumption that we in Nova Scotia voted predominantly for the Liberals, we in the newsroom concluded that the dear man is just a tad confused considering that in his province - that would be Ontario - the Liberals received 39.9 per cent of the popular vote while Nova Scotia - that would be our province - the Liberals received 37.2 per cent of that pesky popular vote. Now there's not a mathematician anywhere in sight but even we can see that Ontario wins (or loses) by 2.7 per cent. Not a whole lot, but still.
So Mr. Grandmaison again, thank you so much for your kind concern regarding the welfare of your fellow Canadians down east during a snow storm. We promise you sir that this coming summer when southern Ontario is mired in smog so thick one could carve it with a cleaver and temperatures are so high that satan himself would perspire copiously, rest assured my dear man that we who live in the smog-free Maritimes will be thinking of you with the same concern you displayed toward us.
Happy excessive diaphoresis (that means sweating but doesn't it sound so much more...well-informed?).
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