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Two Innocent Jackasses Killed in Basra |
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Written by D.L. McCracken
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Monday, 29 May 2006 |
The U.S. and British military have some explaining to do. Acting on information provided by U.S. intelligence, 50 British and US Special Forces conducted an after-dark raid on a home near Basra thought to be a haven for insurgents who were stockpiling at least twenty SA16 surface-to-air missiles and an SA80 assault gun.
The assault team stormed onto the target from air and ground. The air contingent blew off the roof and walls of the structure and subsequently detained the Iraqi occupants of the house - two brothers who didn't have a clue as to what was going on - they were later found to be innocent.
But the worst consequences of this raid involved two suspected insurgent jackasses. As the ground contingent rumbled toward the home, the first jackass was hit and killed in a horrific manner - pancaked by a Challenger II tank. Just moments after flattening the first jackass, tank personnel made the fateful decision to perform an about-face crushing several parked cars in the process. It was later determined that the cars too were completely innocent.
And then the unthinkable happened - yet another innocent bystander jackass who had the misfortune of being in the wrong place at the wrong time was run over and summarily flattened in what can only be described by onlookers as 'burrocide'.
A subsequent investigation into the botched incident determined that the now one-dimensional jackasses were not Iraqi insurgents but were in fact life mates just trying to survive in war-torn Iraq. They leave behind two young asses who are now not only orphans but homeless.
A spokesperson for the British and American military told reporters that they regret what happened that night but prefer to see the funny side of the incident. To do otherwise would be counterproductive for troop moral and could contribute to more diagnosed cases of post traumatic stress disorder adding, "From now on, all armoured vehicles will include jackass spotters". |
