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For NS Power it's HalifaxLive To The Rescue! |
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Written by D.L. McCracken
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Thursday, 02 November 2006 |
Following a hastily assembled meeting earlier today and after a lengthy discussion regarding the woes and perils of Nova Scotia Power's mysterious and spontaneous power outage explanations, HalifaxLive is pleased to announce that Nova Scotia Power, also known as NSP has been selected as the latest recipient of our relentless quest to provide civic-minded assistance to those in need.
Nova Scotia Power has found itself in the unenviable position of having to provide creative and thought-provoking excuses explanations after power outage anomalies which occur on a semi-regular basis throughout the province. Examples of their creativity include missing copper wire, crows and bugs. Their latest explanation for a series of short outages involves a complicated formula of fog mixed with salt on the lines. It was at this point that HalifaxLive knew our assistance was needed. NSP's public affairs department had run out of credible excuses explanations. HalifaxLive to the rescue!
Now don't misinterpret our intentions - as we all know, NSP works hard at all things power related and with very limited funding. Why else would they arrive at the front desk of the NS Utility & Review Board so often and always with the same heart-wrenching plea - "please sirs, may we have some more?" They only ask because it's hard running a business on peanuts. So those poor overworked inside workers have enough to do without having to come up with more and more creative excuses. HalifaxLive simply wants to do our part in assisting a business in trouble and with no thanks required.
So without further ado, HalifaxLive.com is offering the following list of ten possible excuses explanations to be used by Public Affairs manager, Margaret Murphy in future NSP news releases in an effort to effectively convince the people of this province that even in power corporations, shit happens.
Creative excuses explanations for power outages in Nova Scotia:
10.) We were temporarily assimilated by The Borg.
9.) Bad Karma.
8.) Cow-tippers tipped a cow onto the main power grid.
7.) We already issued a notice about that - get with the program.
6.) Due to Sysco budget problems we have been forced to cut back on the number of customers able to access the system at one time.
5.) It was working just fine the last time we looked.
4.) Ralphie the Hamster, while running the power wheel, had a coronary; waiting for replacement to be shipped from Tatamagouche. (submitted by James in Halifax)
3.) Satan did it
2.) Antlers in the power lines. We are attempting to identify who goosed the moose.
And the number one excuse explanation is....Drum roll...............................................
1.) Heather Foley Melvin made her first attempt to conserve energy in NS by turning off the lights - literally. (submitted by William) |
